Wayne Coyne

You are the Gawd of my heart. Thank you♥!

When You Smile

Last night, I had an amazing dream but i can't remember the details nor how it came about so for the record it was much needed. I dreamt that I was with a loving person and he loved me so very much for the kiss he left imprinted on my right thigh was a sure sign. I sat conversing with someone else when he took me by surprise and kiss the delicate top of my exposed skin. It was so powerful that my heart began to pound inside of my confined chest. It felt amazing and much needed. I haven't felt that much intensity since being with Daniel. I feel as if I am at a better place at the moment and I know I still have some healing to do.... I thought I would share this with you guys.

Badonka Donkey

It's that time again, you know, the part where i need to get my life together. I don't know. I feel like I'm slipping into depression and if I don't get a hold of it soon; It will be a depression. I need some inspiration a glimpse of something or possibly something to keep me inspired... I've been so stress due to my crazy ex-roommate, moving out, school, life, being uninspired. In other words, I need some awesome music to pull me through or a handsome kid to keep me strong... blaah something exciting needs to happen.......

first entry of the year...

I'm in the mist of a metamorphoses, i deleted my facebook (well deactivated it) and i don't know. My plan is to do this year a lot different and a little better than i did the one before. I know what i want, at the moment, and i know what i miss but I'm not going to allow those things that i miss to consume my life, again. I got myself an apartment and a new roommate and i hope it all goes well. I also want to do excellent in school (last semester was pretty tough). I added an extra year with plans on working on my writing. I'm excited! I'm heading back to Plattsburgh this Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it (yeah, i know..ha!).

I truly feel bad that I've been annoyed to the point where i have been snapping at my mother. I need to work on that. I have to accept the fact that i wont have the mother that i used to have before she got sick. She's emotional. I'm emotional. There's just too much emotions going around and it's really starting to take a toll on my well-being and i'm pretty sure on her's as well.

Another thing that i want to work on is, finding a job where i can save and be the adult that i should be (I'm 27 and not getting any younger). I pray that i find a job. That's my only fall back that I can think of, at the moment. I need money and lots of it or just enough to live comfortably. I also need to get back in shape and stay in shape...

And pretty much I'm going to take this year a lot slower so i can enjoy it a lot more......

Breakneck Speed

It's sad when you know that your roommate is avoiding you. But it's even worse when you don't know the reason. I shouldn't care so much but it just hurts to know that someone who sleeps so close could be so dangerous. I'm moving out in december and she probably wont know of this until that day.

I'm so over dorm life. I need to start my life. Find a job in the process so i'll be financially stable for awhile and able to save for the next adventure in life. I'm a little nervous. I don't have much saved up but i might have enough for a deposit if i decide not to go home for thanksgiving. I need a J-O-B, like fast!..

I can't wait to live on my own. It's about time, you know.

Her name is Jenn

So i have a new friend. I don't know what to make of her yet but i do know i sort of like her. We met at a mutal friend's place and then i ran in to her at the Koffee Kat today as we sat and talked awhile. I don't know man i like her. She seems like me a free spirit from Montana even thou i'm not from Montana but i am a free spirit.

She's a virgo. What is up with me and Virgos and she with Scorpios; she has many of them as friends. So we're going to hang out next wednesday night and i'm really looking forward to it. Once again I don't know but i really like her. Ha! yeah so i guess it's alright since i made a decision to stay here for another year... gives me sometime to get my shit togther....

On the other side....

Man, Johnny why did you have to leave so soon... i never got to say bye or ask how you were. It just breaks my heart to know that i won't be able to have that chance. I don't know how to take this, how to process it... it feels so unreal and i don't want to believe it... sorry... you didn't have to go out like that... i'm so angry! so very angry... you were an awesome person and i will never forget all the fun times we shared.... i can't believe that you've left us.. all the people you've touched in such a short time... rip friend... i'm going to miss knowing you're around... i love you old friend and i miss you already♥!..never forgotten always remembered♥!..r.i.p Johnny aka Puff♥!.....