An Opportunity.....(how appropriate)

I don't get why you care so much when all it seems to me is that you just enjoy putting me down.. for once give me inspiration give me strength.. accept me for who i am and not who you think you want me to be.......

together in hopes....

i feel like something big is about to happen..........

I totally copped out of German Literature when my professor went on a rambling of injustice and directed the question to me about should we get involved and i responded with an "I don't know"... what i should have said was what types of involvement are you referring to.. Haiti is a touchy subject when you ask should we get involved i think we shouldn't forget about Haiti and their people because of the fact that they are still hungry and afraid but i don't understand the level of your involvement... i would personally love to travel over there and try to rebuild their cities, teach their children but i don't want to force my beliefs or model their government to be run like the government i've despised for as long as i can remember. when you asked an American if they want to get involved they usually want to change the structure of a country's government with theirs in mind. Which is a terrible idea because Haitian life is very different from American life and they have always lived their lives in this manner so its up to them to figure out what they want out of their government but with this comes rebels sooo this makes it extremely sticky. I believe maybe a little supervision but not to the point where we are calling all the shots but honestly i truly don't know......

nobody here to accept the golden reward....

Ah!, i'm at a writers block i can't write i can't read i'm exhausted and i feel as if it's beginning to take a toll on my academic career... Maybe i should disappear from the spotlight just for awhile just until i get my writing and sleeping patterns back on track... ahh in other words i need to remember why i am here and stop focusing on things that shouldn't be my main concern.. haha i can't believe i've joined five different clubs on campus am i trying to find myself through this. so lost so lost where will my selves meet again... i thought this transit was going to be of opportunities and self realization but all i feel is extraversion and despair ... i don't think i'm heading to the TAWS meeting at 7 tonight.... i have soooo much homework to do today!!!!!!


This kid, Tom, who lives in the suite next door is pretty frickin groovie man, we walked to our backyard of woods sat on a frozen lake and smoked a spliff as we revealed our inner selves.. i think i've just found my best friend...

Today was quite weird.. i tanked at the off guarded question my Poetry Professor asked, more or less because i woke up 15 mins before class started, so at the moment i was just there but my mind didn't come in until a half hour after the question was posed.... Ahh at least ANdrew Jerome makes me happy ♥.. even thou he gave me the wrong reading assignment the other day..hahaha

so hanging around the coffee camp today i met an interesting fellow, Fred, who has 5 kids. He proceeding to tell me about his wife, who he's still madly in love with, and how they are in a rut right now. He was very friendly and i guess i have such an inviting face that draws people in and they want to stay around for awhile... who knows but yeah today was very interesting.. i got semi amount of homework done but not as much as i intended on getting done with my studies today.. now i'm back in my room from having dinner with Erik and Andrew which was pretty kick ass.. i'm loving school and the people that i've been coming in contact with in these past two weeks..... could i make this home?.....i don't know

As i sit here with one shoe on and the other off, pondering on how people formulate their opinions on illusions, to be so judgemental.. Don't get me wrong i try not to make assumptions until i have the whole truth or in some cases the facts... My roommate informed me about a little discussion that another friend of ours had about vegan/vegetarians at lunch yesterday and i came up in this debate. she couldn't fathom the idea on why a 9 year old would want to be a vegetarian or a vegan, referring to me but what she doesn't know is what you see of me is not what you'll get, I'm a illusion, i say this because when a person meets me for the first time they believe that i am around 18 to 20 but usually people are considerate and hike up my age to 22.. so i guess our friend thinks I'm around the age of 17 and i thank her for that... i would answer the question of vegetarians/vegans simply, a lot of kids do not enjoy eating meat growing up or just in general, some children are grotesque by the thought and others are scarred when they understood the correlation of life and death or maybe their parents are vegans/vegetarians themselves. There are many reasons why children become Vegetarians/vegans at an early age but sadly i wasn't one of those children, Jenna... i was an adult when i made the decision and i am very happy with the choice i made.

Ever feel as if you are lost within the space and time or even lost between the space and time of specks of snow flurries?

That's how i feel at the moment.. i know that's a strange way to look at it but if you understand what I'm getting at you'll understand my question. I've been a floater and i tend to forget why i am here... i know i truly want to become a better writer just like the greats before me and it seems as if i am on my way due to suffering from chronic despair which is essential to all writers... ha.. Jonathan Culler believes the Author's life is very important to a text of writing where as Roland Barthes believes that the author isn't important it's more about the readers interpretation of their style of writing and how the reader interprets it.


but i agree that "life never does more than imitate the book, and the book itself is only a tissue of signs," ........ i speak in riddles that only i can possibly decode but do i really want you to decode me?..... life is more like mystery well to me that is and it's what you make it or in Barthes case, the connection of space and time...... so am i the space and time?...lol


i wish i would have brought i ♥ huckabees dvd with me.. i need a little existentialism in my life right now