I Don't Wanna Fuck With Another Dude's Snacks

AH! Today was a great day... I hung out with different people, which is a first for me in a long time due to school.

Man, hanging out with Maxwell was awesome. Matt P came over, and we jammed. If only we could play along with each other instead of in our own worlds. Ha! We sounded pretty rad, though. It was good being around Max and playing music. Since we stopped fooling around, it's been really weird. Ha! or maybe it's just me.. I do get pretty weird at times.

So school is out for the Winter break, and I am very excited. I can get up when i want to, and read what I want without having to write a paper in the end. Life is going to be sweet for six weeks. Plus, I got a JOB!!! Y AY! I'll be the new cashier, counter person, salad and sandwich prep-per...etc. I'm looking forward to it. Two days a week and an income to pay my rent. I hope this winter break is fun, and I can't wait to see my family for a few days the weekend of New Year's.......


oh and listen to your Dads..... they know what they're talking about........

Taking an interest in what i'm afriad of....

I had a boyfriend, and then i lost him... man.... I can't even keep a man. What's wrong with me? It's not like he was the greatest kid in the world, but he was a step up from what I've been used to. It hurts a lot, but in a way, I don't even feel a thing. I put way to much negative energy and energy, in general, into it that I destroyed the beauty of it. I sort of miss him, or I sort of miss being or lying next to someone. Plus, he was extremely sweet, so I guess I should stop texting him. He's not coming back, and I need to move on.......

In other news, i have my laptop back, which is awesome. I can listen to awesome music again. For example, Wavelets...... I'm in love......

my soul is at ease...speakeasie

Vitality

Ahhh! I'm 28... wow! crazy, i know. Well let me fill you in since a lot has happened since my last entry. I'll start off with the birthday, and then work my way to the past, and then pass the present to my hopes for the future.

My birthday was sooo much fun yesterday. I got all dressed up, and the older generation really enjoyed it. It was if i brought them back in time, a place where they felt mostly alive.. ha maybe not but it's nice to think so....



Yeah, my housemates and I checked out the Firefighter Haunted House, and it was a haunting. I FRICKIN' LOVED IT! so good. It was like all the horrific things in my mind, brought to life. INSANE! and the clowns.... you know how i feel about them, but yet I can't turn away from them. ha! I was sooo baaked too; it was great. I got this budd called Julius Caesar and my is it strong, just like the man...lol and I took some G-shots at Suleika's. I adore her. Speaking of Suleika, I sort of made-out with her brother, Rey..lol well not really but the corner of our lips touched (: lol It was nice though...lol

ummm.... yeah, Max and I broke up last Sunday, and I miss him so much... Seeing him yesterday at 67 made me so nervous and did I tell you I was pretty baaked...lol yeah, I wish he would have stopped over my house before he headed home for the night... I really want him back ):

OOOO in other news, I'm so in love with Tiffany roommate's kitten, Chocolate. She is frickin adorable, and she's a little hand slut. This kid Max (yeah too many Maxwells in Plattsburgh) and I were feeling her up and she loved it; she was in total ecstasy; it was great...lol I don't know but Max started to get a little frisky and wanted a little of this chocolate..ha! but yeah, my heart belongs to only one Maxwell, and he isn't him..awe blaaah lol...

well anywayz, I'm 28 and single ): at the moment, but it may change again...lol

Blacking Out The Friction

Ahhh! man, where should i begin..maybe at the beginning. So over the summer i loss one of my best friends. yeah, it's pretty unfortunate that I'll never see that beautiful face and hear that sweet sound leaving such an intelligent person again. I fucking miss you, Alison, and I always will.... But I'm recovering somewhat and I also have a feeling that you are the reason why i have Maxwell. I love him so much. He's the sweetest and sexiest person that i have ever met, and all I want to do is crawl right under him. ah magical.

School sucks! i do the bare minimum , which is terrible in my standards, but I do know, when I get my terrible grades from this semester, I'll probably hate myself, like a lot. blaaah

I'm still a little baaked from chilling with James. It was so much fun; we played 1,000 weed games and that game is pure genius so much fun! I wish there was a television in this mailroom so i could watch Bored To Death.....

Wayne Coyne

You are the Gawd of my heart. Thank you♥!

When You Smile

Last night, I had an amazing dream but i can't remember the details nor how it came about so for the record it was much needed. I dreamt that I was with a loving person and he loved me so very much for the kiss he left imprinted on my right thigh was a sure sign. I sat conversing with someone else when he took me by surprise and kiss the delicate top of my exposed skin. It was so powerful that my heart began to pound inside of my confined chest. It felt amazing and much needed. I haven't felt that much intensity since being with Daniel. I feel as if I am at a better place at the moment and I know I still have some healing to do.... I thought I would share this with you guys.

Badonka Donkey

It's that time again, you know, the part where i need to get my life together. I don't know. I feel like I'm slipping into depression and if I don't get a hold of it soon; It will be a depression. I need some inspiration a glimpse of something or possibly something to keep me inspired... I've been so stress due to my crazy ex-roommate, moving out, school, life, being uninspired. In other words, I need some awesome music to pull me through or a handsome kid to keep me strong... blaah something exciting needs to happen.......

first entry of the year...

I'm in the mist of a metamorphoses, i deleted my facebook (well deactivated it) and i don't know. My plan is to do this year a lot different and a little better than i did the one before. I know what i want, at the moment, and i know what i miss but I'm not going to allow those things that i miss to consume my life, again. I got myself an apartment and a new roommate and i hope it all goes well. I also want to do excellent in school (last semester was pretty tough). I added an extra year with plans on working on my writing. I'm excited! I'm heading back to Plattsburgh this Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it (yeah, i know..ha!).

I truly feel bad that I've been annoyed to the point where i have been snapping at my mother. I need to work on that. I have to accept the fact that i wont have the mother that i used to have before she got sick. She's emotional. I'm emotional. There's just too much emotions going around and it's really starting to take a toll on my well-being and i'm pretty sure on her's as well.

Another thing that i want to work on is, finding a job where i can save and be the adult that i should be (I'm 27 and not getting any younger). I pray that i find a job. That's my only fall back that I can think of, at the moment. I need money and lots of it or just enough to live comfortably. I also need to get back in shape and stay in shape...

And pretty much I'm going to take this year a lot slower so i can enjoy it a lot more......