"I'm begging you to be my escape"

I feel like shit. I'm unsure if it's because this weekend was a bit consuming or hanging out with Max over the weekend has brought my mood down. I'm guessing the first because I felt like I was on top of the world on Sunday, so i'm guessing I'm getting sick. I'm also feeling like I don't trust a lot of people mostly the ones that live the closes. Crazy. I'm really stating to resent people. wow! I know it isn't jealousy and I don't really feel like discussing it. It seems that my morals are being tested. I'm not an unfair person but people are are convincing me that I am selfish. I think about my well-being but I also factor in how others feel but I need to start thinking of myself mostly. I told Max that over the weekend and maybe i miss interrupted his question or he was looking for some other answer. But I'm not going to off pissing people off. If i want to help or change the system, I've realized that i need to change it from within. Maybe, I am bummed about Max. ha! I think I'm just overwhelmed and in need of a break and it seems that next weekend is going to be another consuming one. I'm thinking about getting my nipples pierced tomorrow. Maybe that'll put me in a better mood.